


The Hallmark Christmas Movie where Santa Is A Stripper

by Ealasaid, writeyourownstory



Series: Hallmark Channel [13]
Category: 1917 (Movie 2019)
Genre: Christmas, Domestic Fluff, Dreams, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Inspired by Hallmark Christmas Movies, M/M, Rare Pairings, Reunions, Richfield, Sort Of, chatfic, prose, rarepair hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:41:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27900034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ealasaid/pseuds/Ealasaid, https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeyourownstory/pseuds/writeyourownstory
Summary: Rewrite of the Hallmark movie "Family for Christmas."  (Sorry, I couldn't work that into anything remotely punny for a title.)In which Benjamin Richards, a TV News Anchor, reconnects with his friend from college, goes to a friend-of-a-friend's bachelor party, chats with a Mrs. Claus stripper, and receives a vision of Christmas Future.(Turns out, college friend Will Schofield received a similar vision.)
Relationships: Lieutenant Richards & William Schofield, Lieutenant Richards/William Schofield
Series: Hallmark Channel [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1988683
Kudos: 2





	The Hallmark Christmas Movie where Santa Is A Stripper

**Author's Note:**

> ~Originally brainstormed/chatwritten on November 1, 2020!

**butler is boo:** Okay! First story for today:  
“Family for Christmas” - The movie begins with Hannah Dunbar (Lacey Chabert) faced with a decision between her career or her sweetheart Ben Matthews (Tyron Leitso). The movie fast forwards 10 years and she is an award winning news reporter. Out of the blue she gets a friend request through social media from Ben. With a chance encounter with Santa he asks her to wish for something that she wants, and then she wakes up she is married to Ben, with two children, a dog and living in the suburbs. Hannah has to try and figure out which life is most important.  
I...forgot their names but that’s kind of poetic 😂

**Lt. Richards is bae:** 😂 AYYYYYYYYYYY, yes! Hahaha

**butler is boo:** In the actual movie the main chick wishes to see what her life would have been like if she had married and settled down when she was dating fake-Ben back in the day. But honestly? I think it should be Will and Ben and they used to be BFFs and moved on in life and forgot about each other until one of them friends the other on FB. Then it leads to them making the same wish but since they where thinking of their BFF they end up married to them because of the wish  
If that makes sense? Because the actual movie is boring and cliched as hell because they used to “love each other and were high school sweethearts that went in different directions”  
_I just need soft Richfield so bad_ 😩 damn you Liz!!  
(You know ilu 😘)

**Lt. Richards is bae:** 😘  
I was thinking something similar! Like, just really good friends -- maybe in college? --And I feel like Ben is the one who is the reporter

**butler is boo:** ☝️☝️☝️  
High school sweethearts, no thanks. We need maturity

**Lt. Richards is bae:** ☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️

**butler is boo:** Maybe Ben is the journalism major and Will is.........  
Hmmm....

**Lt. Richards is bae:** Something bookish. Literature? History?

**butler is boo:** Oooooo _yes_  
Maybe history? Something where he can wear soft sweaters and look bookish 🥰😂

**Lt. Richards is bae:** 🤔 oooo wait I got it: comparative religion

**butler is boo:** OOOOOO 👀

**Lt. Richards is bae:** OKAY  
So let's start with Benjamin Richards. He made news anchor through a stroke of luck and no small amount of charm -- he's not classically Superman handsome, but there's something about his face no one can forget  
and it has served him well. Oh boy, has it served him well. He made news anchor after only a few years and has slowly become more and more popular.  


**butler is boo:** And his ego bigger and bigger 😂

**Lt. Richards is bae:** The hours are hell, frankly, but he's recognised in the streets and the amount of times he's stopped and someone tells him he has made their day or that he's the first thing they watch in the morning -- well, it almost fills that gap of not having any significant other

**butler is boo:** 🥺 his career never really left room for a full time committed relationship outside of one night stands or short relationships that led no where  
So he’s starting to feel a bit lonely—especially after someone at work gets engaged and he’s reminded that he’s alone

**Lt. Richards is bae:** oooo, yes  
he's invited to someone's engagement party or bachelor party or -- something

**butler is boo:** (I am REALLY debating whether to involve _Santa Claus_ in this)

**Lt. Richards is bae:** with insinuations of getting him set up with a nice person, so and so . . .

**butler is boo:** Been there done that

**Lt. Richards is bae:** ~~and maybe he DOES go and just finds that person lacking, for whatever reason~~  
OH WAIT

**butler is boo:** 👀👀👀

**Lt. Richards is bae:** scratch that, different order  
he says "Yeah, sure!" and goes home and it's _that_ night that he gets on facebook or social media or whatever and finds he has a new friend request

**butler is boo:** Oooooh _yes_

**Lt. Richards is bae:** from Will Schofield

**butler is boo:** _YES_

**Lt. Richards is bae:** whom Ben remembers vividly, of course. No one else would argue with Ben about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict in the Middle East and actually _know_ what they were talking about

**butler is boo:** **😏** **😏** **😏**

**Lt. Richards is bae:** it's how they became friends, after all -- aaaaa, for the days of uninhibited college parties, where you could just wander into someone's apartment at two a.m. and get into socio-political debates.

**butler is boo:** Will met him on an intellectual level that he could never quite get over

**Lt. Richards is bae:** ^^^  
And while Ben has some measure of that now, he's still not exactly his own news program _host,_ yet. He's still mostly reporting on other people's journalism, and though he has the leeway to research and write his own segments on occasion, no one would even think to let him tackle those larger political issues, of course.  
(Not for another decade at least)

**butler is boo:** (☝️☝️☝️)

**Lt. Richards is bae:** Anyway, he immediately clicks "accept" and then spends the next hour scrolling through everything William's got up to since then -- ah, so he finished his doctorate; looks like he's an associate professor somewhere . . .

**butler is boo:** (God now I’m imagining any photos posted of Will on his social media and how soft and handsome he looks 🤤)  
And he looks settled and happy and Ben starts to reminisce and remember how they used to get on in college before they split ways and fell out of touch with one another

**magicaltear:**   
  
I live for sweater cozy Will

**butler is boo:** _yesssssssssss_  
🙌😭🙌

**Lt. Richards is bae:**   
Anyway, then he goes to bed! hahaha

**butler is boo:** ( _frantically searches for turtle neck George Mackay_ )  
😂😂😂

**Lt. Richards is bae:** the next few days are same old, same old  
Ben starts trading messages with Will, but not anything substantial -- just "Hey, how have you been?" and "Oh, I've been great, how about you?"  
it's a bit awkward because -- well, it's online, and it's sporadic; just whenever one of them can send a message to the other  
but Will, so far, is definitely replying to everything Ben sends, and Ben does his best to respond in kind  
Will mentions he's going to be in [insert town that's maybe an hour away here] in a few weeks  
Ben immediately invites him to lunch (this is Thursday)

**butler is boo:** 👀👀👀

**Lt. Richards is bae:** and then conversation peters out a little. --But it's the weekend, after all.  
and as it happens, that bachelor's party is on Saturday night!

**butler is boo:** And there is a valiant attempt to set him up but he finds the person lacking and not near as engaging and he’s bored halfway through the evening

**Lt. Richards is bae:** Yes  
She's a lovely woman (I don't think Richards is necessarily 'out' if he's for sure gay) and has some interesting . . . assets, but honestly, the conversation is a little lacking

**butler is boo:** Maybe he's bi?

**Lt. Richards is bae:** I mean, p much all the characters I write are bi 😂  
or just demi idek

**butler is boo:** Might as well carry with tradition then 😂

**Lt. Richards is bae:** And Ben distinctly recalls, later, that at the time, he was thinking about how much more he'd rather be debating with Will  
\--but as it is, he just excuses himself to go get some air  
or . . . something  
OH

**butler is boo:** 👀👀👀

**Lt. Richards is bae:** And this is happening at, like, a strip club.

**butler is boo:** Omg 😂

**Lt. Richards is bae:** one that caters to both -- or maybe it's a cabaret-type thing, idk

**butler is boo:** Ooooh cabaret is interesting 👀

**Lt. Richards is bae:** anyway, Ben ducks out the back. He's a news anchor, he knows _all_ about those back doors  
and fuck, it's freezing outside

**butler is boo:** It _is_ December

**Lt. Richards is bae:** but hey, at least he's not feeling as tipsy, and that means he's less likely to wake up in Ms. Dull's bedroom

**butler is boo:** A one night stand just doesn’t sit well with him at the moment

**Lt. Richards is bae:** The door opens again and there's some no-nonsense high heels and a woman is like "What are you doing out here? You don't have a break for another hour-- oh"  
It's one of the entertainers, dressed up as Sexy Mrs. Claus. Because _ofc_

**butler is boo:** **👏😂**  
_whoop there it is!_

**Lt. Richards is bae:** She squints at him and is like "aren't you the news anchor?"  
and he's like "well not right now I'm not"  
and somehow they wind up talking while she takes her cigarette break  
they're discussing career choices and lifestyles and stuff  
she doesn't want to be a cabaret dancer/stripper -- she wanted to be an actress, or a news host, or something  
Idk I'm too lazy to make up this conversation

**butler is boo:** 😂

**Lt. Richards is bae:** but it ENDS with her sort of prosaically flicking her cigarette butt away and saying something like, "at the end of the day, I just ask myself: if I could, would I wish things were different?"

**butler is boo:** They discuss regrets and life choices and where they thought they would be at this point

**Lt. Richards is bae:** ^^^

**butler is boo:** Oooo yesssss

**Lt. Richards is bae:** And then -- Ben decides to leave early  
like, as it stands, he doesn't do news on the weekend, but he doesn't want to fuck up his sleep schedule that badly anyway

**butler is boo:** But he is left wondering about what she said

**Lt. Richards is bae:** goes home, sees that Will is like "lunch sounds great" and shoots Will some message about when Ben is able to drive to that town and stuff, what's good for Will?  
and turns in for the night!  
in his empty bed  
in his empty room  
in his empty apartment

**butler is boo:** 🥺

**Lt. Richards is bae:** and _wakes up._

**butler is boo:** 👀👀👀👀👀

**Lt. Richards is bae:** He's wrapped around someone (his someone, his husband) and it's so nice waking up like this on the weekends, when Ben's got the time to lie in a bit for a cuddle.

**butler is boo:** 🤤  
(Ooooooooh 👀 he has _memories)_

**Lt. Richards is bae:** (prose incoming)

**butler is boo:** ( _bring it_ )  
( _I am so ready_ )

**Lt. Richards is bae:** He inches in closer and kisses his husband's shoulder and resettles his arm around his husband's waist. Will makes a small protesting noise but half-turns so that he fits much more nicely up against Ben and that, honestly, just makes Ben more interested.

"Well good morning to you too," Will says, a bit petulantly. Ben just keeps grinding sleepily against him, and Will's grumpiness dissolves into a sigh and a kiss . . .

Breakfast is fast and busy. Their daughter is ready for the day and happy to bother her brother about it; Will has to intercede in at least one sibling squabble. They go to the park. There's ice cream. Their children are adorable and obnoxious and they make Ben's heart flip over when they're not actively causing mayhem.

And at the end of the day, after the children are put to bed, Ben and Will are cuddled up on the couch in front of the television with a glass of wine, watching the latest episode of the latest serial drama they had recorded. Ben doesn't even mind that tomorrow he's got work and he should really turn in early, because he's got the love of his life right here next to him and he knows Will will be here tomorrow when he gets back--

\--and then Ben wakes up in his empty bed, in his empty room, in his empty apartment.

**butler is boo:** 😱  
_le twist_

**Lt. Richards is bae:** 😂

**butler is boo:** Just, the abrupt change! Did he only dream that? Or is it a switching places deal? ELABORATE WOMAN!  
(So love take your time 😂  
(Demon Hannah made an appearance please excuse her)

**Lt. Richards is bae:** (oh wait, was that actually a twist?)

**butler is boo:** (I have no idea! 😂😂😂)

**Lt. Richards is bae:** (I DON'T EITHER)  
(ok)

**butler is boo:** Maybe....maybe he does just dream it but it’s so vivid that it leaves him reeling?

**Lt. Richards is bae:** oh yes

**butler is boo:** Or....maybe every time he goes to sleep he’s actually transferred into that life?

**Lt. Richards is bae:** Ben actually feels frantic for a moment -- like, where did Will _go?_  
his honest-to-goodness first thought is "oh my god is this when I wake up and remember my whole family died in a tragic accident?" and the _fear_

**butler is boo:** 🥺🥺🥺  
_oh jesus_

**Lt. Richards is bae:** and then he realises he doesn't -- even remember the kids' names?  
and like. This is his apartment.  
and also, he has never been married

**butler is boo:** ☝️☝️☝️  
And _damn_ that dream was realistic

**Lt. Richards is bae:** . . . and also, he's uh . . .  
😳  
~~one quick and slightly guilty wank later, replaying that dream wake-up sequence~~ he takes a shower and just thinks for a while  
and then goes and _seriously_ stalks Will on facebook.

**butler is boo:** Fuck yeah he does **😏**  
After a dream _like that_? He’s more than curious

**Lt. Richards is bae:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^  
He knows it was a dream, but Ben can't stop _thinking_ about it  
the feel of Will's hand in his, or the noises dream-Will made, or the way he rolled his eyes over one of the children telling a ridiculous story, or how his eyes crinkled when he smiled at Ben

**butler is boo:** Or how rumpled he looked when they woke up or the feelings that the man instilled in him that still resonate even though he’s been awake for hours

**Lt. Richards is bae:** \--needless to say, next week can't come _fast enough_

**butler is boo:** **😏** **😏** **😏**

**Lt. Richards is bae:** Ben tries not to read _too_ much into the whole thing. Like. Will looks the same and he sounds the same over the internet, but?? that means nothing  
and he might not have any significant other (that Ben can tell, anyway), but that doesn't mean Will is _interested_ in having one

**butler is boo:** Or that he’s even into men

**Lt. Richards is bae:** ^^^

**butler is boo:** But damn, he can’t stop the anticipation that’s settled in his gut nor can he stop the...thoughts about how Will feels under him, in his arms, snuggled at his side. No matter how much he tries to tame those feelings  
It’s...disconcerting. That a dream has affected him in this way  
He’s a realist. Fantasies and what if’s just aren’t his thing. Then he gets back on Will’s profile to stalk him more (it’s not stalking! He’s just...checking something!) and those beliefs fly right out the window again  
Again it’s...disconcerting

**Lt. Richards is bae:** (what does he find out on Will's profile?)

**butler is boo:** (Hmmmmmmmm 🤔 like you said, he doesn’t seem to have a significant other, and most of his pictures are taken _of_ him, not by him. No selfies. So Will is still as shy as he was back in college. And that he looks soft and settled and confident. And he’s really grown in to himself since Ben last saw him.)

**Lt. Richards is bae:** (No photos of children -- some photos with someone Ben recognises as Will's sister)  
Anyway Ben just -- lets it . . . rest, for now.  
. . . and may or may not be early to that lunch.

**butler is boo:** **😏**  
He definitely can't get rid of that churning anticipation in his gut.  
No matter how many times he tries to shove it down

**Lt. Richards is bae:** Not that it matters -- Will is already there; he's reading a book at the table

**butler is boo:** (Punctual as he always was—which Ben can believe he remembers)

**Lt. Richards is bae:** and Ben is struck by how _familiar_ Will is  
like -- his dream of Will was _spot on_  
all the mannerisms are the same -- the way he looks up without even seeming startled and smiles  
(Will gets up and gives him a hug, too, which -- Ben can't help smiling ridiculously at that)

**butler is boo:** (🙌😭🙌)

**Lt. Richards is bae:** "You haven't changed at all," he says to cover his flusterment, and nods at the book. "What are you reading this time?"

**butler is boo:** (Ben is so fucking flustered and _Will smells really good oh god get ahold of yourself Benjamin_ )

**Lt. Richards is bae:** and it's [insert something semi-topical] and Ben would _love_ to sink his teeth into that -- but . . . news anchor, he's not supposed to do that, necessarily -- not in public --

**butler is boo:** Omg **👏😂**

**Lt. Richards is bae:** but then Will levels this _look_ at him and is like "seriously? not going to touch that?"  
and Ben is just like   
four hours later, they're still at the restaurant

**butler is boo:** Will still knows him 😂

**Lt. Richards is bae:** and arguing even as they are finally shooed away  
Ben learns three things: 1) Will really _hasn't_ changed -- he's still pulling out those "morals are relative and not conflatable with ethics/law except when it's theocracy" arguments and nitpicking at the details  
2) getting his doctorate has granted Will a significantly greater sense of confidence and poise -- he is nothing but steel, these days  
and 3) Will is shockingly attractive. Like. How the _fuck_ did Ben miss that back in college?  
(--and I'm not sure how, but somehow Will ends up moving closer)  
Ben finds out eventually that Will is in the area, looking at housing or something

**butler is boo:** Ooooooo 👀

**Lt. Richards is bae:** and it is on the _tip of his tongue_ to offer Will just move in with him, but

**butler is boo:** Waaaay to forward 😂

**Lt. Richards is bae:** \-- _that was a DREAM, Richards, NOT REALITY!_

**butler is boo:** — _No matter how realistic it felt!_

**Lt. Richards is bae:** ends up saying "well, if you're in [Ben's town], I've got a spare room you can stay at instead of a hotel"

**butler is boo:** **😏** very subtle Ben

**Lt. Richards is bae:** and Will's like "thank you, that'd help a lot"  
and Ben is like "that's it, I'm going to marry him if I can"  
(internally)  
and that is essentially how the movie ends!

**butler is boo:** **👏** **👏** **👏** **👏** **👏** **👏**

**Lt. Richards is bae:** the SEQUEL is all about them getting to know each other and Ben just basically confirming that holy shit, dream Will was basically real Will, and then basically falling in love  
despite Ben's hectic schedule and Will's new . . . job, or whatever  
(and maybe a mirror -- how Will had a dream similar and that's what prompted him to look up Ben in the first place)

**butler is boo:** (OOOOOOOOOO 👀 omg _yesssssssssss)_

**Lt. Richards is bae:** . . . I'm such a slut for Richfield, I am now brainstorming it  
Will sees Ben's face on a billboard advertisement  
because Ben's getting so popular, you know?  
but Will's dream is . . .

**butler is boo:** 👀👀👀

**Lt. Richards is bae:** . . . like basically 10x raunchier and softer than Ben's  
at the same time  
if you know what I mean **😏**

**butler is boo:** _fuuuuuuck I dooooooooo_ _  
_ So when he sees Ben.... _fuuuuuck  
_

**Lt. Richards is bae:** the whole movie is of the two of them pining for each other and convinced the other is just like, a good friend

**butler is boo:** 😩 oh hell yes

**Lt. Richards is bae:** right up until there's one night where the tension just snaps  
like  
🍾

**butler is boo:** _yesssssssss_  
And _jesus_ is it good  
Like, _really good_

**Lt. Richards is bae:** ^^^  
me rn: 🤤  
bc they've been basically playing gay chicken for -- oh, like, a year now

**butler is boo:** That slow burn was probably _painful_ for the both of them considering 😂

**Lt. Richards is bae:** ~~Will cannot recount the number of times he had to excuse himself to the bathroom to have a quick wank just to deal with it  
~~literally spends whole evenings together trying not to fantasize about Ben's mouth~~~~

**butler is boo:** 🙌😭🙌

**Lt. Richards is bae:** literally, by the time they actually consummate things, everyone has already been thinking they were together for _months_

**butler is boo:** _because they were already so close by that point and those moon eyes they always gave each other like, damn guys you weren’t together already?_  
And months/years later, when they’ve settled into their lives with each other, they have a late night conversation about the dreams they had of each other that prompted them to meet with one another again and—  
That is like hella weird and they are not gonna touch that just yet

**Lt. Richards is bae:** lmao no no see  
it comes up in convo pretty casually  
that's actually what prompted the whole 'gay chicken' part to end  
Ben's just like casually "man I had this dream a year back about us being married, isn't that hilarious? we had two kids and everything"  
and Will's just like 😳 "wait, what? a year ago?"  
Ben's like "uhh yeah?"  
and Will's like "huh, so did I"

**butler is boo:** 👀👀👀

**Lt. Richards is bae:** like, so obviously shocked  
that it is clear he is _definitely_ not making fun of anything.  
Ben's like   
"and . . . was it a good dream?"  
and like. they're suddenly hyper-aware of this  
and Will says, "It . . . was, for me"  
something something Ben's astonished and like "well damn maybe I should've just started with making out with you" and Will's like "oh yeah that would've been nice"  
and then they're both   
so Ben very deliberately puts down the thing he's holding and comes over very slowly  
and leans in very, very slowly  
and kisses him  
and is like "so how was that?"  
and Will's a little breathless and his eyes are very bright, but he says, "You know, I'm not sure, might have to experience that again to form a decent opinion"  
so Ben steps closer and cups his jaw this time and kisses him again  
and doesn't step away at all when he stops and asks, "how about now?"  
and Will is _smiling_  
and he says, "once more--"  
and then Ben kisses him a third time and then they _don't stop_

**butler is boo:** 🙌😭🙌  
**👏** **👏** **👏** **👏** **👏** **👏**  
BRILLIANT LOVE THAT WAS BRILLIANT!  
Just, a casual end to the year long gay chicken routine they had going on and BAM MAKEOUT  
They make it work **😏** adopt a few kids after they get married sometime in the future and Ben wakes up one day and realizes—this is it. This was his dream. Like, to the smallest detail  
And maybe it was magic? Maybe it was fate? Either way, he’s is completely happy and content  
_These two kill me why did we make them this way?_

**Lt. Richards is bae:**   
(the next three months is them dragging each other into every janitor's closet or empty office at the drop of a hat)  
("do you know HOW many times I had to pretend I needed to piss just so I could go dump water on myself to hide how much I thought about your mouth?")  
("No, but at least now I know what to do to make your dreams come true")  
(that's at Will's professor office at the university)  
and the answer is because idk  
idk but I love it

**butler is boo:** Rarepair hell is truly hell 😭😭😭  
_but why does it feel so good?_

**Author's Note:**

>  _Honestly this one hit me so nicely. Like, Richfield in general is an addiction. Thanks babe._ 😂 ~W


End file.
